Marriage is the result of two people who love each other and want to get married when the relationship progresses. Imagine, every morning you will wake up with the love of your life. You will become a family and you will always be with each other... These thoughts are enough for anyone who loves each other to burst with happiness.
Everything is like a bed of roses until the marriage decision.
Then the families meet and their compatibility with each other is extremely important for couples. Preparations for setting up a new home will begin, which can be an extremely stressful and tiring period for couples. These two reasons alone are intimidating, are they not?
Also, think that there may be other factors in addition to these and in such a case couples may feel unhappy before marriage, and even go so far as to re-examining their marriage decisions. If you also have these thoughts, or if someone from your immediate surrounding has such, do not worry. Because experts call it "premarital syndrome" and they are very natural.
Why does one get married?
In order to find a solution to the premarital syndrome which psychiatrists find extremely probable, we need to think about this question first. First of all, marriage is an institution that has emerged according to the values of society. According to this, two people who love each other want to have children when they reach certain age or they are exposed to social pressure. Emotional attraction, love and other positive emotions that already exists among people also support this process. The idea of being together all the time is very appealing to them. All of these feelings are things that bring people closer to the idea of marriage.
If you have decided to get married, it means you and your partner have been through all these stages. But society has taught you that marriage is an eternal happy life form, and somehow idealized it for you. Therefore, it is extremely normal for you to feel pressure prior to marriage.
Pre-marriage stress antidote: Do not think of your significant other as heaven!
Experts say that marriage should never be perceived as 'a problem will never occur' and will always 'be the best thing'. So, first of all, you should get rid of this idealized marriage idea in your head. Just like life, marriage depends on many variables and your feelings will change from time to time. Everything will never be perfect and it does not have to be perfect anyway. The important thing is to show each other respect, love, and tolerance that come with living together.
Is she/he the correct spouse for you?
Especially in our society, girls are brought up with the idea that they will fall in love with a someone special when they grow up, marry him and have an eternally happy marriage. However, real life is very different from this dream. Research on different communities reveals that this expectation can only be true in a one-fifth ratio. Therefore, the monogamous life you imagine may not be the most ideal.
The pre-marital stress is caused by the responsibility of the original idea of marriage.
Role of being a spouse requires you to change and become another character. In premarital period, couples start weighting each other on this issue.
They seek answers to queries such as is if s/he the correct spouse for me, will s/he able to make me happy, could l live a happy life with her/him. And this, willingly or not, causes a pressure and stress to a person.
The accumulating stress together with tensions, drives a person to interrogate her/his decision and the other party.
Do not let nice memories turn in nightmares!
Those we mentioned above can cause couples to sometimes deviate from their aims to get married.
In fact, the problems that are so simple can turn it into a battlefield. The model of your gown, the color of your couch, can turn into a big problem between you and spouse to be.
You may think that all these are very important issues with the stress that you are experiencing at that moment, but once the process is over you will face that all of them were, in fact, simple details.
And only one unrecoverable thing among all of them shall stand in front of you: That is the broken heart of your spouse!
Therefore, you should not try to appropriate the normal stress you experience prior to marriage to your lover. You should acknowledge that both of you are different individuals and may not agree with other every time.
Because an ideal marriage can only be shaped by this thought.
If you are having difficulties in this matter and you cannot cope with the stress you are experiencing; you should definitely try to get professional help. Keep in mind; there is nothing that does not have a solution, and you are not the only one feeling these feelings!